I love you, Mom

If everyone could be more like you, the world would be a better place.

Love, Valerie

Answers to your burning questions

Jess asked, What is your favorite thing about yourself? And also, what is your favorite name for a pet?

There are just SO MANY wonderful things about yours truly, I just can’t decide  I would say that I am an extremely fast learner, but that doesn’t really have anything to do with a personal choice that I’ve made about myself, so I’ll skip that. I guess something that I’m most proud of is the fact that I went from basically being a quiet, timid pushover to being a woman of conviction who will take up for herself when she is right. I basically did a 180 after my first two relationships, in which I dated guys who treated me like poo. I just thought that was how relationships were supposed to be. I watched it happen to my Mom my whole life. I don’t know when the light switch flipped on, but it did, and I’m grateful. It’s a wonderful feeling when someone—a person who assumes that since you’re a young woman you won’t take up for yourself—says something rude, only to be put RIGHT in his place immediately afterward. A man—whom I’d worked with for about 2.3 seconds when he did this—made a snarky comment to me once, so I said, “ExCUSE me? I know you just did not speak to me like that. I am neither an idiot nor your slave.” The look on his face was priceless.

As far as my favorite pet name, right now I’m going with Noodle. I am keeping one of Layla’s pups, the one that most resembles (and emulates!) Layla, and that is what I’m naming her. After a few cocktails with a friend last week (we were most likely at my house watching American Idol), it just came to me. NOODLE! Isn’t it a cute little name? All of my animals have people names (Raquel, Oliver, Otis, Berta, Layla), and I decided it was time for a “pet” name.

Oh, and that is not Noodle in the previous post. That is the dog my aunt is getting, and they are naming her Scarlet. An appropriate name, because her father’s name is Red

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Miriam asked, What is your favorite place in the world to visit? What do you do when you’re there?

I had a hard time with this question. I always love going to the beach, but I don’t have a specific one that I frequent. I guess I would have to say I love to visit Atlanta. I always get really excited when I get tickets for a concert in Atlanta, or tickets to a Braves game. Whenever I go there, I just feel consumed by CULTURE and PEOPLE and PLACES OH MY. It’s far South enough where you still get that “deep South” feel, but it’s also diverse enough that it’s not “hick-ish.” Plus, Atlanta has awesome shopping and restaurants (naturally). When I’m there I just try and soak up everything while I can before I come back home to the shit hole that is my hometown. The thing that sucks about Atlanta, though? Traffic. Holy hell the traffic. I would kill myself if I had to be in that every day.

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Libby asked, What 2 things would you bring with you on a deserted island?

The first thing I would bring is some sort of music playing device, assuming I could either have electricity and/or unlimited batteries. The second thing I would bring would be alcohol. Lots of it. Although, a man would be nice, too. Especially if that man were Keith Urban. Although he doesn’t drink . . . more for me I guess! Oh wait, if I brought Keith Urban and alcohol, I wouldn’t NEED a music playing device because he would sing to me. So, Keith Urban and alcohol.

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Laurel asked, What was your favorite outfit in eighth grade?

Ah, 1997. I was in my angsty teenage “I don’t give a fuck but I am oh so depressed” phase. I wore a T-shirt and jeans pretty much every day. After much Googleage, I was unable to find photographic evidence of my staple T-shirt in 8th grade, but I’ll try my best. Before Mossimo became a Target brand, it was the type of clothing line that you could find in abundance at Gadzooks, my OMG ABSOLUTE FAVORITE STORE EVER at that time. I shopped in the men’s section and bought T-shirts way too big for my 100 pound self. I bought a new Mossimo shirt pretty much every time I went to Gadzooks, and they all featured some sort of anime-like illustration. I’m pretty sure I wore one in my 8th grade class photo. Oh, and the staple American Eagle flare jeans. Ugh.

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Pessimistic Redhead asked, Is your blog title from The Family Stone? If not, how did you choose it?

No, it is not. Although I did like that movie. It actually came from Weeds. Celia Hodes, the extremely bitchy character in the show, said it, although I can’t for the life of me remember what the context was. I thought it was a perfect name for my blog since well, I am a freak. And I let my freak flag fly pretty regularly. And I like alliteration.

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Michael C asked, Because you are in Georgia, does Ray Charles’ ‘Georgia On My Mind’ make you get all weak in the knees like I do? How about Willie Nelson’s version? Don’t you feel glad that you have such a great song for your state when I have things like ‘It Never Rains In California,’ which is a complete and utter lie because it rained a little just yesterday?

Actually, I think I am immune to the effect that song has on most people because I DO live in Georgia. I don’t understand! Oh, and speaking of Willie Nelson, a former co-worker of mine has smoked pot with him. THAT is awesome. I’ll bet he had some good shit. But yes, Michael, of all the songs with states in the titles, I do agree that ‘Georgia on My Mind’ is the best.

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And finally, the lovely Stephanie, who is currently on hiatus but we still love her asked, Is there any one color that dominates your closet? For example, I look into my closet and see mostly blues and pinks in all my clothes.

Actually yes, Stephanie. There are several. In one category we have black/white/grey, because I am an incredibly boring dresser, and because I am cheap so I like my clothes to all GO with each other. The other two are green and navy, because I love nautical-looking clothes. My style is classic tinged with a little bit of preppy casual. OK, someone punch me for that last sentence.

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!

OK, now I’m going to do it

Since everyone and their mama has already done it (and drama in my life is not allowing me to form coherent thoughts as of late), I am opening up the forum to you.

ASK ME QUESTIONS.

I will answer mostly anything, so don’t be shy. Ask more than one, while you’re at it, in case I don’t get very many responses

Everybody loves a bullet point post (at least those of us with ADD do, anyway)

• NCW bought me a going-away present when I left my last job (in, um, FEBRUARY), and it STILL has not arrived. What kind of gift takes more than TWO MONTHS to get here already? A friend of mine (a man, of course) suggested that maybe he somehow impregnated me and that I will be receiving my present in seven months. I shudder to think.
• Don’t get me wrong, I’m not ungrateful that I haven’t received my gift yet. I’m very grateful. I mean, he didn’t have to get me ANYTHING, and gift-giving is not something NCW frequently does, as he is a Jehovah’s Witness. I’m just wondering, what the HELL could it be? Thoughts, anyone?
• I just force-fed myself the other half of my English muffin from breakfast because I didn’t want to be wasteful, even though I am wearing a very unforgiving shirt that shows off the very slightest indulgence. And it was soggy. Sigh.
• A word to the wise: Don’t choose a day in which you will be doing much walking to “break in” your cheap JCPenney heels. My feet are TORE UP. I’m not sure if I’m allowed to wear flip flops to work, but damn it, I’m wearing ‘em.
• Lack of sex is making it VERY hard for me not to hit on the hot bartender who winks at me.
• I needed coffee so badly this morning that I smelled the milk, deemed it rancid, and poured it in my mug anyway. Two packets of Splenda have saved my life.
• White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane is quite possibly the best song EVER.
• The puppies opened their eyes on their 2 week birthday! OMG they are the cutest things ever. I keep promising pictures but I’m having a hard time capturing their cuteness with my crappy camera. I don’t want to do them an injustice by posting sub-par pictures. Be patient, my friends!
• Another thing about the pups that was super cute: The Saturday before last, I was woken up by Layla scratching very quietly on the side of my bed, desperately wanting some cuddle time with her mama. I pulled her up on the bed (she’s too small to get up there herself, and my bed is TALL), and I looked down to see all three pups snuggled together in a row, with Layla’s skunk toy (when she had her false pregnancy last year, that was the “baby” she carried around, and now she keeps it in the bed with her pups) placed delicately on top. The skunk was the pups’ babysitter, y’all!
• Am I forgetting anything? No, I don’t think so . . . oh wait, yeah:
• I AM GOING TO SEE KEITH URBAN TONIGHT! YEAH BABY! I’ll post pictures, if any of them turn out OK. I know a certain few of my freaders who are going to be extremely jealous of me tonight
• Happy Friday everyone! I am up out of this piece in T-Minus 97 minutes.
• UPDATED TO ADD: Is Michael C the only one who noticed the pun in the title of my last post? I’m sure the fact that no one mentioned it is because it was cheesy/unfunny. And no, that is not a desperate attempt to push my readers reader into telling me I’m funny. I totally know that already.

Hi, atus

I could write an entertaining post, one that would have you giggling quietly to yourself at your desk (I know you’re reading this at work! Don’t lie!). I could write about how FREAKING GREAT life is, and how happy I am.

But I’m not.

So until I find something happy! and fun! to write about, I’m not going to write. I’m going to spare you the “woe is me” crap because no one wants to read that, myself included.

I don’t know how long it’ll last. Hopefully not long, because if I start writing again that will mean I am HAPPY!

And yes, I will drop in to post more pics of the pups. They’re much more interesting than I am right now. Trust.